HUWAG NA HUWAG BABASAHIN

1. Melanie Marquez, during her guesting at The Buzz: I have a film with Alec BALDWIN, and DIRECTOR by Romy Suzara…

(it’s BOVICK, Melanie, bigatin ka na pala at Hollywood star na ang co-star mo, and yes, it’s Supposed to be DIRECTED BY..)

2. Katya Santos, on the controversial Viva Hot Babes VCD: Eighteen year old ABOVE and PATAAS lang ang pwedeng makabili nitong VCD.

(So kung 17 below and pababa, hindi pwede, di ba?)

3. Heart Evangelista, reading a letter request at Myx: Dear Heart, I’d like to request the song blah blah… Of course, we will grant your request. You know, everything is possible… WITH GOD!

4. Boy Abunda, interviewing “Ssshhh…She Walks By Night” star Belinda Bright: Belinda, what is this movie about?
Belinda: It’s actually a Film Mwah!
Boy: Pardon me?
Belinda: A Film Mwah, we consider it a film, not a movie.
Boy: Ano ulit yun, iha?
Belinda: A Film.. mmm.. it’s an Art Film.

(Film Noir, Belinda, and to think you are Bright!)

5. eto pa, iniinterview ni Master Showman yung 98 degrees, tsk tsk.. nde na nahiya:
Kuya Germs: So what can you say about the Filipinas?
Someone from 98 degrees: Ah, they’re all pretty. Really lovely and kind.
Kuya Germs: Well, have you made love to a Filipina?

6. DESSA AFTER SINGING A SPOT NUMBER IN A REGINE VELASQUEZ CONCERT. DESSA APPARENTLY SANG A VERY VOCALLY CHALLENGING SONG
AND AS EXPECTED, ENDED iT WITH A THROAT BREAKING NOTE. REGINE ENTERS.
DESSA : O kala mo ikaw lang ang mataas ang boses.Kaya mo yun?
REGINE : Eh ano ngayon, maganda ka ba?

7. Kuya Germs: Salamat at pinaunlakan mo kami Juday. Dahil dyan, may ibibigay kami sa iyo courtesy of video city. Ito ay…aircon?! Aircon!
Juday: (luwal ang mga mata) Talaga?! Salamat po.
Kuya Germs: Ay…Con Air pala. Isang vhs tape ng Con Air.

8. Kris Aquino: i heard sa france based ang father mo ngayon?
Danilo Barrios: hindi po. sa paris.
Kris Aquino: so you’re a vegetarian?
Danilo Barrios: opo. kumakain din ako ng meat.

9. Vina Morales, announcing the winner/s of ASAP’s Clash Dance: It’s a tie-breaker!

10. Host: What is your favorite feature?
Calendar Girl: My favorite feature is my graduation feature!

(Todo explain pa siya na kesyo maganda daw siya dun kasi naka-makeup siya…)

11. Grand Finals ng She’s Got the Look dati sa Eat Bulaga:
Vic: Contestant Number —-, eto yung question mo: “What is your guiding principle in life?”
Contestant: Hmm.. guiding principle?
Vic: Oo, guiding principle, kumabaga motto, something na pinaniniwalaan mo.
Contestant: Hmm .. (halatang tensed na).. guiding principle.. my guiding principle is.. hmm.. ahh.. ahh..
Vic (grand finals kaya ayaw niya mamahiya): Para siyang motto.. like “Time is Go..” (sabay putol nung contestant)
Contestant: Ahh.. my guiding principle in life is “Time is Gold. Thank you!”

12. ito, nung Bb. Pilipinas host: how did you develop your love for horseback riding?
contestant: when I first went to Tagaytay, I ride a horse and the horse thrilled me!

(hmmmm… bakit parang iba meaning?)

13. Host: You’re doing well as a singer in clubs. What’s your next ambition?
Guest: Gusto ko pong magkaroon ng recording album!

(Recording na, album pa?)

14. Host: What don’t you like about (name of starlet) ba?
Guest: She’s too reactionary!
Host: What do you mean?
Guest: React siya ng react!

15. Host: “Ano ba ang pinaka-favorite mong movie lately, Melanie?”
Melanie Marquez: “Maganda yung kay Emma Thompson at Kate Winslet, yung “Simple and Simplicity”.

16. anyway, si melanie marquez pa rin habang iniinterview ni boy abunda:
boy: melanie, anung masasabi mo sa mga lumalabas na tsismis na hindi ka lang daw drug addict, drug pusher ka pa?
melanie: they are all liars! tingnan nyo nga ako, ang payat-payat ko, i am a model!

(tsk tsk.. mukha ka ngang high! )

17. angela velez announcing the famas winner..
Angela: And the Famas Goes through…
aleck bovic’s reaction sa mga di makapaniwala sa pagkabest actress nya..
aleck: di ko na po papansinin yung mga negatives puro positives na lang po..

18. host: ano sa mukha mo ang pinaka-asset mo?
mr. pogi contestant: sa tingin ko ang pinaka-asset ko sa mukha ko ay ugali! Mabait kasi ako!

(mwerk ano raw?!)

19. Inez Veneracion: “I am a one woman man!”

(hell, she’s a man! )

20. Inez Veneracion in TV Patrol interview: “Tapos binangga nya yung Vesta Ban (Besta Van) ko!”

21. letter sender: vj heart you are so charming and u are my favorite vj!
vj heart: also you are!

(what the hell?!! did she finish school?)

22. HOST : WHICH DO YOU PREFER: BLONDE OR DUMB?
GIRL : DUMB NA LANG AT LEAST HINDI AKO MAPAGKAKAMALANG BLONDE!

23. New Year’s presentation ng See True:
Ate Luds: O sige ano na ang inyong prediction para kay Stella Strada?
Madam Auring: Lalo siyang sisikat sa darating na taon at malalampasan niya ang kasikatan ni Alma Moreno!
Kinabukasan, HEADLINE: STELLA STRADA COMMITS SUICIDE!

24. JULLIE YAP DAZA GUESTING ON VILMA!
JULLIE: O Vi nag-guest na ko dito sa show. Ikaw,kailan ka naman mag-ge-guest sa show ko?
VILMA: Alam mo naman Tita Jullie, busy kami ni Ralph sa pag-a-arrange ng kasal namin. Siguro pagkatapos na lang ng marriage!

25. Joe Cantada: So Atoy, what are your prospects now,mukhang makakayanan kayo ng Toyota this coming semi-finals round…
Atoy Co: Well Joe, the ball is around!

(naghanap tuloy ng bola si Joe)

26. RITA GOMEZ AS A JUDGE IN A BB.PILIPINAS PAGEANT,ASKING A CANDIDATE A QUESTION DURING THE Q AND A (CANDIDATE
INCIDENTALLY IS MARIA ISABEL LOPEZ)
RITA: Here’s your question,hija: Are you still a virgin?
MARIA ISABEL: If I say I still am, can I bring home the crown tonight?
RITA: Good answer!
MARIA ISABEL: What about you Ma’am, are you still a virgin?
RITA: Hija I have 5 children with 5 different fathers,what do you call that, Immaculate Conception???

27. Ang ganda ng gospel number na yon,napaka-enlighting.Teka magpupunas lang ako, I’m sweatening.*VILMA SANTOS

28. HOST: What’s the latest in international show biz news?
Co-host: Whitney Houston has just signed a $100 M recording contract!
Host: Wow, that’s really huge. Do you think she deserves it?
Co-host: She does! After all, in the course of her career, Whitney has sold more than 140 albums!

(Huh?!)

29. Host: Do you see what I’m holding in my hand?
Co-host: What is it?
Host: It’s the new P10 coin.
Co-host: Hey, how about that? – what are its features?
Host: Well, it has Mabini or Andres Bonifacio on the cover.

(The coin has a cover?)

30. Host: Our next sports feature is unique. It’s about a new and funny kind of race.
Co-host: What’s new about it?
Host: It’s a race in which the racers are riding landmowers!

(What in the world is a landmower? – Oh, you mean lawnmower.)

31. Host: Your best friend is involved in a controversy right now. What do you want to tell him, to show your support?
Starlet: Pare, kaya mo ‘yan. At, pag kailangan mo ng tulong, anytime, alam mo naman, ‘andyan lang naman ako, I’ll just right by!

(Wheee!)

32. Host: What has happened to you after you came out with your accusations?
Guest: I have received death letters!

(What in the world are death letters?!)

33. Host: Now that you have answered your opponent’s charges, what happens now?
Guest: Now the ball is in the court!

(Huh?)

34. sexy star1: i’m half filipina, half spanish, and half chinese (ano yun 1 1/2 )

sexy star2: the show was very success!

tapos sa sharon. tinanong si Diane de la fuente,
sharon: nung nag-secret wedding kayo alam ba ng parents mo?

35. Tinanong one time si Angelika Jones kung ano role nya sa isang sitcom na gagawin nya sa channel 2.. sabi nya medyo kikay daw sya d2 pero nde naman Over O-A.

Si Candy Allyson naman pag tumalon naman daw sya sa San Juanico Bridge kailangan nya ng Life Best para safe.

Isang Viva HotBabe sabi nya proud daw sya kasi napasama sya sa 100 Sixtiest Woman!.

36. HOST: Why did you separate from your husband?
Guest: I realized that I did not really love him.
Host: Did you love him when you accepted his proposal for you to marry him?
Guest: Not also.
Host: So, why did you agree to marry him?
Guest: He pressurized me to do it!

(Ay, pressurized!)

37. Host: What did you have for breakfast today?
Guest: Tinapay.
Host: Ano’ng palaman ng tinapay?
Guest: Juice.

(Palaman, hindi panulak … sus.)

38. ito sobrang tagal na to. sa martin late at night. guest si vina morales.
martin: vina, ganda naman ng damit mo. ritratto?
vina: sige, pa-picture tayo!

Para sa mga. . .

  • Taong PAFALL, mahulog sana kayo from 100th floor to ground floor.
  • Taong PAASA, bagsakan sana kayo ng isang malaking batong nag-aapoy habang naiihi.
  • Taong MALANDI, ibabad sana kayo sa kumukulong mantika habang sinusugatan ang singit.
  • Taong MANHID, iapaira sana kayo ng nakahubad sa Iceland.
  • Taong FEELING MAGANDA AT GWAPO, kabagin po sana kayo forever.

PALAGAY KO MAHAL KITA <3

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Shane

I’m all packed!

Ready na lahat. . .

Excited na ako sa trip ko.

I’ll be going somewhere to visit a dear friend of mine.

Buti na nga lang at dahil sa magical message na “good night”

Ehhh. . .

Nagkakilala kami! ^___^

.

.

HINDI NIYA ALAM

.

.

Matagal ko na siyang gusto

In english

Like na like ko siya.

Hindi lang dapat ako magpahalata

Kasi bawal

TAKEN NA KASI

LOL TO THE WORLD!

Yan pala intro ng story ko.

I am Shane and I think

I am in love with no one else like Fred. . .

Shhhhhh. . .

That’s our secret! Okay?

.

.

.

I arrived the place so fine and bright!

Susunduin daw ako ng mahal kong ni Fred.

Joke!

Ng dear friend kong si Fred

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Naghihinta si Shane kay Fred

First time naming magkikita tapos mag-uusap at gagala

Yun ay kung may time pa siya. .

(Fingers crossed)

.

.

.

Kaya I tried to look good

Inisip ko talaga kung ano susuutin

Pero yung hindi masyadong halata ha?

Na pinaghandaan talaga.

Kasi nemen….

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Fred

Ayun na nga si Fred!

On time din oh!

Nasabi ko na bang isa siyang sundalo?

Ohhhh

Isa siyang Military Officer

Ang gwapooooooooong sundalo besh!

“Maygad!”

Maygad nalang talaga nasabi ko sa sarili ko nung dumating siya

At susunduin ako.

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Fred

(^________^)

Yiiiiieeeeeee!

Fred: Hi!

Me: Oy! Kaw ba pinadala ni Fred para sunduin ako?

Fred: (-____-) Ako si Fred.

Me: talaga? Pogi mo kasiiii hahaha Kala ko hi-nire ka niya LOL! 😀

Fred: Hala! Lakas talaga mambola! Tayo na! J Akin na bag mo. Ako na po magdadala.

Me: Naku wag naaaaa… baka mainlab pa ako lalo niyan!

Fred: Ano? haha

Me: Sabi ko, okay lang, kayang-kaya kong dalhin bag ko nuh? Yaaay!

Fred: (kinuha ang bag ko) Tayo na, let’s eat first. (at nauna nang maglakad patungo sa sakayan ng taxi)

Me: (*^_____^*) kiliggggggg (Girl, waaag! Alam mong bawal kaya tiisin mong wag ma fall!)

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We ate and we talked at the same time

Tawa lang siya ng tawa

Tunaw na tunaw naman ako

Titig lang siya ng titig

Mas lalo akong natutunaw

Kaya dinadaan ko sa pagiging madaldal ang lahat

Para hindi halatang nafafall talaga ako

Ng paulit-ulit

Natanong nga niya kung bakit wala akong boyfriend eh. . .

Nasabi ko na lang na

“Hindi ko pa siguro time para magkaroon”

Pero deep inside

Gusto kong sabihin sa kanya na

Gusto ko siya

At siya lang

.

.

.

I also asked him

Sa status niya with her girlfriend

Sabi niya wag na pag-usapan

Malulungkot daw siya pag ganun

Gusto niya pag-usapan yung ibang bagay

Kaya iba’t-iba na yung naging topic namin

.

.

.

After we ate

We stroll around the city

We reached a resort

Doon kami…

Doon kami mas nag-usap!

Ang saya-saya namin

Ang saya saya ko rin.

Hulog na hulog na ako

Pa-fall kasi lahat ng actions niya

Hahahah pero parati kong iniisip girlfriend niya

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Shane

Doon ko naramdaman na

Gusto ko tlaga siya

At siya lang. . .

As I bade him goodbye

I felt the pain of longing

Yung feeling na gusto mo siyang ihug

Yung gusto mo siyang hawakan kahit sandali lang

Pero bawal talaga

.

.

.

May respeto ako

At kahit may nararamdaman ako sa sundalong to…

Hindi pwede ehhhhhh…

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.

I smiled at him.

He smiled back.

.

.

Alam ko yung smile na yun

Hindi smile of happiness! L

It was a smile na parang sad

Naramdaman ko yun

Kasi

Yun din yung naipakita ko. . .

.

.

I traveled alone

I wandered and thought of him

Much more than I should

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Kasi naman!

Text siya ng text

Tawag siya ng tawag

Gustong-gusto ko naman!

Whahahah!

“Fred!

Utang na loob

Alam nating dalawa

Na bawal talaga

Sabihin mo lang na maghintay ako

MAGHIHINTAY AKO

Kasi hindi na to gusto lang ehhh

Palagay ko Fred?

Palagay ko mahal kita!”

Palagay ko Mahal Kita